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What can we learn from Tamil films? As far as I'm concerned, absolutely nothing! However, for every Tamilian who accepts that life isn't like the movies there are four who follow its 'teachings' like gospel, romance in particular. What follows is what I consider the most irresponsible lessons on romance and relationships being thrown around in Tamil films. Lessons that I want banned permanently. 

#3 If you want a Tamil guy to respect you, ditch the 'western' clothes and attitude

Are you finding it difficult to find a nice Tamil boyfriend or husband? Do you fear that you might die a lonely old spinster? Well, according to Kollywood the answer is simple; they guarantee that if you erase all external evidence of a personality and then replace your trendy new clothes and hairstyle with a sari and simple plait (with complimentary poo-malai) you will bag your Tamil hero within a matter of seconds. 

This is a popular theme in many Tamil films; the heroine is initially ignored and/or criticised by the hero for her western attitude and dress sense. This causes the girl to undergo a dramatic transformation; cue scene where heroine surprises the hero by walking into the room dressed to the hilt in traditional attire. The makeover usually includes losing all powers of speech and personality, replaced by a series of dopey grins and frequent coy head turns. No explanation is ever given as to how she managed to achieve this dramatic personality change but, based on the available evidence, I assume a lobotomy was involved. This change immediately makes the hero respect the heroine and before you know it they're both married and living in a Tamilians (i.e. Tamil mans) paradise. 

The movie Sivakasi (2005), starring Vijay and Asin, gives a perfect example of this theme. Check out the clip below...


Asin's character has just been harassed and molested by some random pervert but instead of giving him the beating he deserves Vijay gives her the riot act instead. For those of you who don't understand Tamil; he outright blames her and her dress sense for making the man want to molest her. Although he does briefly question the perverts poor self control he spends the majority of his rant telling her (the victim) that she is to blame for the man's action and that if she wanted respect she should wear a sari.  

Can you guess what effect this has on her? I assume some of you would tell him to GTFO, well, check out Asin's response...


Rape-splaining at its finest. An all-too common phenomenon, especially in Tamil society, that perpetuates a rape culture that excuses sexual misconduct. 

#2 Guys find "bubbly" girls attractive

A growing trend in Tamil cinema is the bubbly and child-like heroine. The best example that comes to mind is Genelia's character in the 'comedy' film Santosh Subramaniam (2008).


The whole films is based around how lovable, bubbly and child-like she is but what I saw was someone who was socially inept and border line special needs. One of the main running jokes in the film was the characters fascination with head butting people. There are several scenes in the movie where the hero runs around trying to stop her from head butting his father. Rather than yelling "For god' sake, why the f*ck are you trying to head butt my dad?! You're a fully-grown woman!!" and kicking her to the curb, the hero falls even more in love with her. 

Kollywood has now started teaching girls that being a socially-inept moron is an attractive personality trait and its not just girls who this affects. Check out the comments under the above video on its YouTube site, you will see a whole host of comments from guys saying things like "...this is the girl I want in my life" and " she is so sweet. I want a wife just like her" - are you kidding me? Taking Genelia out of the picture, would you really want to marry a woman who behaves like a 7 year old? Maybe there is a deeper message; that Tamil men prefer child-like women since they are easier to control. Who knows! As far as I'm concerned, the Tamil film "bubbly girl" is the bimbo of the Apple generation and they need to put a stop to it now. 

However, this relationship advise seems almost sensible compared to the next one that Kollywood has been preaching for decades...

#1 If she rejects you, harass her until she changes her mind

The best example of this is Vinnaithaandi Varuvaaya (2010); Kartick (Sombu) sees Jessie (Trisha) and instantly falls in love with her. He then spends the next half hour of the movie obsessing over her. She repeatedly rejects his advances but he ignores it and continues to pursue her. It reaches a point where she, out of desperation, pleads with him if they could be "just friends" and his response to this was....


God dam! Keep your libido in check brother, you have only known her a few days!  

Can you imagine someone coming out with this line in real life?

Guy: Hey

Girl: Oh, are you? Not seen you since...err..this morning, outside my house?

Guy: route to work often takes me past your house...

Girl: Huh?! Don't you live and work, like 20 miles away from where I live?

Guys: YEAH, YEAH...My SatNav is playing up...anyway, do you fancy meeting up for a drink sometime?

Girl: Look, I have told you several times already...I'm not interested! Can we just be friends?!

Guy: Friends...FRIENDS?! How can we be friends...I WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO YOU ALL THE TIME!!!!

So, what would happen next? Well, according to Kollywood and Vinnaithanandi Varuvaayaa, the girl will eventually do a complete u-turn and declare that she had always been in love with the guy, proving that he was right all along to put pressure on her and ignore her initial request to back the hell off. 

Kollywood loves to promote the idea that men should persist and continue to harass women who initially reject their romantic advances because women are big teases and will eventually change their mind if you pester them long enough. This theme needs to stop since it promotes the myth that a woman does not know her own mind and a man needs to tell her what she wants. In the real world, no woman will accept this level of pressure. They will either run off and/or call the police, and the guy, well, rather than breaking into a verse of Hosanna in some exotic location with his dream girl, he will be having it sung to him by some big dude in prison. 

That's it, rant over. I'm sure there are more than 3 terrible pieces of advise, so feel free to share your thoughts in the comments box below.