My thoughts on Puli

 

Congratulation, or is it "Hats Off", to Chimbudevan and Vijay for achieving the impossible and creating a film that would give Sura a run for its money for the title of 'CRAPPIEST TAMIL FILM OF ALL TIME'



I know what you're thinking, "oh, here we go again. This anonymous kottai is slagging off Tamil cinema again...yawn"

Whatever.

I think the difference between me and other reviewers, is that I judge all films equally (Tamil and non-Tamil) whereas others use a patronising "Aiyo paavamĒ scale to judge Kollywood and make excuses for the bullshit that our people often create. The latter does nothing more than worsen the shit state that Kollywood is in. I understand, some of you are brainless pans, some of you are intelligent but insecure about your race and you need to big up everything Tamil and some of you harbour ambitions of profiting from Kollywood and its stars and so I understand why you choose to flush your brains and integrity down the toilet and accept and falsely promote the shite that Tamils often create. I am neither insecure nor harbour any ambitions to mingle with stars, so I can afford to speak the truth.

The truth is that if ever a movie testified to the utter creative bankruptcy of the Kollywood film industry, it would be the abomination known as Puli.



When I watched Puli, I never expected a life changing masterpiece but the movie is simply terrible. Vijay pans have been hyping Puli up for month and its them who I feel sorry for the most. These pans, these sub-human scum, actually believed that Puli would be a masterpiece. Vijay doesn't give a shit, he's been paid. Itís these pans, who have an inexplicable emotional attachment to Vijay and his films, who will suffer the most during the Puli backlash. Puli is a big dick slap across the face of Tamil Cinema lovers.


The film is labelled as a "Family EntertainerĒ, but I would only take family I hate to watch this. It makes me laugh remembering that people actually believed Puli would be Tamil cinema's answer to Bahubaali. Bahubaali, for all its faults, at least tried to tell a story. Puli boasts a screenplay that reads like a hobo having his stomach pumped. Chimbudevan steals ideas from other fantasy movies and then mashes them together, without much thought, to make one big pile of shit. It makes you wonder what part of "entertainment" Chimbudeva, writer and director of Puli, doesn't understand. For me, entertainment is not hero worship and 'mass' scenes, itís a combination of engaging story, skilled direction and solid performances. Puli offers none of this. Instead, Puli serves us pan masturbation material. I donít need to describe what this is, those of you who follow the Mystic Tamil Facebook page will know exactly what I mean. The film is nothing more than a platform for Vijay's smugness and self-love.



LOL, nob


Puli is meant to be a bold 'departure' for Vijay but he just plays the same punch dialogue spouting bellend he plays in all his movies, he just does it in a 'fantasy' setting. This is arguably Vijay's worst performance to date. They could've replaced him with one of those pan made cardboard cut outs half way through and no one would've noticed. Thatís how bad he was. Fortunately for Vijay the rest of the cast is as wooden as him. Although kudos to the puppeteers who animated Sridevi and Shruti Haasan's botoxed faces. They did a great job. Give them an Oscar.


#RIP Workers who died animating her face. May you be #blessed in heaven wid da angels and #RiPPaulWalker

Puli as a whole looked amateurish which is surprising considering the budget that Chimbudevan had at his disposal. Puli has been compared to Bahubaali visually. I assume whoever made this comparison was simply taking the piss. The whole film, the visuals and costumes, had a 'made for TV' vibe to it. It makes you wonder what exactly Chimbudeva spent his budget on. Although, based on the giant turtle sequence and magical frog, Iím gonna assume weed and hookers.




The name Chimbudevan though. Sounds like something you'll call Simbu to make fun of him. 

Anyway, in terms of positives, well Cineworld now offer a Salted Caramel popcorn which is simply to die for. You should definitely try it next time you're there, watching any film but Puli.

Puli is the Ebola of Tamil films. Actually, come to think of it, no one gave a shit about the real Ebola until it started infecting white people, so maybe we should all write fake positive reviews for Puli to convince white people to watch it. If Puli causes one of them to die through brain damage, since unlike us they wouldn't have built up an immunity to bullshit, it could prompt the 'West' to take action on Vijay. Hopefully 'action' that involves an airstrike.

Interesting.

My Tamil brothers and sisters, download Puli and release it into white society. Let them finally learn about the horrors of Vijay.