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The Daughter of Chivas and Urukkai


A parody based on a story written by one of my favourite authors Neil Gaiman. Forgive me Gainman fans. Buy and read all of Neil Gaiman's books. The man is awesome.

I heard this story from my grandfather who said it was old even in his time. In village of Maangulam, a newly born girl was left one night on the steps of an Amman temple where the priest found her there the next morning. She was a cute but strange little thing, cocoa coloured skin and her eyes were yellow like that of a cat or someone with advanced stage jaundice. In her little hands she held a curious thing, a miniature bottle of Chivas, like what you would find in an airport duty free or the pockets of an alcoholic called Mohan. The old wives of Maangulam, with their pattikadu and traditional beliefs, said as follows 

"She isn't right. She smells of whiskey and urukkai, baby girls aren't meant to smell of whiskey and urukkai, she is evil! kill her before she brings death to this village”. 

Fortunately, 'wiser' heads prevailed and the baby was taken to the old long abandoned Kali temple in the woods. There she was left and one of the wives from the village visited each day and fed the baby and so forth.

It was believed that the baby would die, which she did not do. Instead she grew year on and about until she was a maid of 14 summers. She was the prettiest girl you ever did see. A fine young girl who spent her days and nights behind the high stone walls of the long abandoned temple, with no one ever to see but the village wife who came every morning with her food. One day the wife talked too loudly of the girls beauty and also that the girl could not speak for she had never learned the manner of it. The men of Maangulam, the old and the young, spoke together and said 

"If we were to visit her, who would know”, 

meaning by "visit” that they did intend to ravish her. 

That night, the men crept from their houses one by one and met outside the old Kali temple in the woods. They found the girl hiding by the old temple well. The girl was prettier than they had heard. When she saw them she was afraid, for she had never seen men before save only the village wife who left her food each morning. She stared at them with her pretty yellow eyes and uttered small cries as if she was imploring them not to hurt her. The men merely laughed for they meant mischief. They were ignorant and cruel men. They came at her and the girl began screaming and wailing but that did not stay the wicked men from their purpose. Then the temple went dark, and the light of the moon was blocked and there was a strange distant sound but the wicked men did not hear it since they were intent on their ravishment.


The wives of Maangulam in their beds that night dreamed of men screaming, blood splattering against white walls and of a mysterious fat figure with yellow eyes wielding an aruvaal. The following day the wives went hunting for their sons and husbands for they were not in their beds. They searched high and low for the girl and their men folk but there were nowhere to be seen. One of the wives picked up a foul stench of death and whiskey emanating from within the temple so they plucked up their courage and ventured in. To their horror they found, on the temple floor, their men folk chopped into small tiny pieces. The girl was never seen again.